Confess

I ran home on Thursday night because I had to take a long-distance exam. Then he had a "home-cooked meal" with his family that he had not seen for a long time. Baked Chicken in Salt, whose skin was golden, had lotus root bone soup that had been boiled for nearly two hours, and boiled egg, who was so steamed that he broke it as soon as he touched it. It was so delicious that I praised my mother three times in just half an hour.

to my shame, I didn't take the initiative to pick up the bowls and chopsticks and wash them after eating. Instead, I took out my cell phone, brushed through moments and watched short videos. By the time I realized it, my mother was already busy in the kitchen. I hurried in and said, "Mom, I'll wash it for you."

my mother is scrubbing the dish wall with a dishcloth: "my hands are dirty. I'll do it."

I went up and pinched her shoulder: "then I'll give you a massage."

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she smiled and said, "it's not the right time to squeeze it. Go out and help me squeeze it later." I went back to the living room and sat down, but missed the chance to massage my mother because I played with my cell phone. After dinner every night, she has to go downstairs to open a shop.

but before going downstairs, she said to me, "Don't say, 'Mom, I'll help you wash the dishes', but 'Mom, I'll do the dishes', okay?"

I answered "yes" perfunctorily, and when I came back, she had gone downstairs.

I am a hindsight. I always think slowly. I used to think that my mother was very mean to others. Every time an outsider came to my house, she would hide the delicious food and say to me, "if they finish eating, you won't have to eat." Every time she goes to someone else's wedding reception, she always throws the question of "how many red packets to pay" to the dinner table to figure out the relationship between the other party and us before she can decide on an "appropriate" gift.

but when I grew up, she began to be stingy to me. Because I often talk about others and my girlfriend in my articles, but I don't always mention her and her family, so she always expresses her dissatisfaction in her way.

just a few days ago, she voiced me on Wechat: "son, can't you try and write some good articles?" Look at the amount of your reading. It must be because it is so boring that so few people read it. If it goes on like this, how can the people you bring with you be convinced? "

I was too angry to speak. My fingers were shaking when I was typing. I was thinking, "it doesn't matter if other people don't understand me, but why don't you understand me?"

because I always think that my family will always be my strongest backing, so no matter how difficult it is outside, as long as they are willing to support me, I have the motivation to keep going.

We broke up in discord that night, and my mother finally put down the words: "come to my room now and delete your official account!" I won't watch it anymore! " I turned off the light and lay in bed wondering why people who agreed to support me forever could not understand me.

the next day, I called my sister. I told her what happened last night, and she said, "actually, your mother is jealous. Didn't you just write an article about your girlfriend?" And I don't see you writing about your mother. She still cares about you very much, otherwise how can you motivate her to read articles with one or two thousand words? She just doesn't know how to express it. Don't forget, your mother didn't even graduate from primary school. She has worked very hard to get to know you. "

tears came to my cheeks after listening to my sister's words.

in the years of high school, there were always all kinds of situations at home. At that time, I was most afraid of the sudden doorbell, because I did not know whether the person who rang the doorbell would come up with a ferocious look to collect the debt. At that time, I didn't like to stay at home. I always rode around on a bike, often starting from 8 o'clock in the evening, and then swaying until 11:00. It was not until I was shivering in the cold wind that I began to ride home.

once I opened the door and, holding the Hot and Sour Rice Noodles I bought for myself, found my mother sitting in the living room without turning on the light.

I asked carefully, "have you eaten?"

when she answered me, her throat was already filled with tears, so she said vaguely: "not yet."

I held up the five-yuan Hot and Sour Rice Noodles, smiled and said, "I just called you your favorite Hot and Sour Rice Noodles."

"I can't eat it. Eat it yourself."

after I put Hot and Sour Rice Noodles on the stage, I hid in my room and dared not make a sound.

that's why I'm afraid to write about my mother. Every time, every time, I have to make a lot of effort to write it down as it is. On the one hand, it is because of their own cowardice, afraid to hear others say: "are you selling badly?" On the other hand, it is because they are afraid of being seen by their family, which makes them worry about their son, who has become extremely confident. In fact, there are still some bad things hidden in their hearts.

my mother is a strong woman. Apart from being a little grumpy in my life, I have never made any irreparable mistakes. In those days of suffering, whether to eat fried meat with chili peppers or fried meat with chili peppers, Baked Chicken in Salt or Baked Chicken in Salt never starved us.

remember going home in the third year of high school, three people ate but she cooked four whole dishes, she ate a bowl and said "full". I asked her, "Why do you eat so little now?" "you don't know," she said with a smile. "when you're not at home, we can eat a plate of green vegetables and a plate of sausages for a day."

I can't laugh at all.

when I thought of this, I began to understand that my mother still supported me as usual, but her method was different from mine.

after graduating from high school, our life track seems to deviate from our original family gradually. By reading books, listening to open classes on our mobile phones, crawling around in the workplace, and traveling outside, we have gained some life experiences that they cannot understand. And we are becoming more and more impatient, just like teaching children to play with mobile phones, using IPHONE threw it in front of them and told them, "just play with this. Don't bother me."

it seems that moms all over the world are the same. They never boast about how good they are to you, and they don't tell you what you haven't done well through spoiling like lovers. They just get closer to your life silently and in their own way.

I remember Li Daren in "I may not love you". He is recognized as a warm man in the world, but it seems that many people have never thought about such a question, that is, why Li Daren is so warm.

in fact, the plot has already explained this problem. There are two women in Li Daren's family, one is the queen and the other is a rock girl, none of them do not live in their own world, let alone share with each other, they can not even understand each other. Li Daren must shoulder all the responsibilities, not only to take care of his mother's feelings, but also not to let his sister become too rebellious, so he has no choice but to compromise with these two women, and a man, his way of facing the world is often learned when facing his family.

in the ninth episode, Li Daren finally lost his temper: "Don't you all know how to respect me and give me some quiet space?" Playing a supporting role once in a while won't make your life less than a dime, okay? "

but knowing that Li Daren was upset, his sister still lost her temper and retorted him for several words.

when I saw this, I suddenly felt that I was actually a very lucky person and an extremely selfish person.

because in my life, it seems that my mother is playing a supporting role. She asks me, "do you want to come over to your studio to cook for you?" she cares about what other people think of me, and she always makes suggestions carefully. "Mom is just a suggestion, not a request, just listen if you think you can, just don't listen," she added. "

on the contrary, my son, who has read a lot of books, does not know how to respect her and cannot understand her state of mind.

when I wrote this, I felt very sad, but I couldn't help feeling a little happy. I was sad because I didn't do it well before, and I was happy because I knew she would read this article. Besides, she must be able to receive what I want to express.

"as far as I know, you will still support me, arguing not because you don't believe me, but because I'm afraid I'll be the one who will regret it in the future. But trust me, just like you just started. "

A few days ago we wrote an article about confessing to our parents, and a reader left a message: "I want to be honest with my parents, too. Can you tell me what you can do?" After thinking about it for a long time, I finally wrote this "confession" to tell the reader: "you might as well write them a letter while you are about to leave in 2016." "

tomorrow I have to go back to the studio to live those days of ordering takeout every day. Good night.